Thursday, March 19th 2009

Is Blofeld’s cat evil enough?
posted @ 7:41 pm in [ ]

You know how Blofeld’s evil cat was white and kind of inert? I’ve occasionally wondered about that. Wouldn’t a darker cat look more sinister? (I dunno, maybe it’s a holdover from cowboy movies: white hat, white cat?) Also, the cat is very, well, chill. What is up with that chillaxin’ white cat?

Well, probably the chillaxin’ is a casting choice. The auditions would have to be fairly entertaining, with cats draped all over the studio, some of them perhaps sedated to improve draping. Any remotely nervous cat, or one that was inclined to, say, bite Blofeld, would have to be excused immediately. I’m sorry, Mr. Jones, but I’m afraid Miss Fluffy is just not chill enough for our purposes. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

I think it’s a white cat because long-haired furry black pets don’t photograph so well. Take Jackie, who’s always ready to pose for a photo op, whether roused from a snooze on the bed, laying waste to a Bizzy Ball (TM) or hiding in between hanging-up suits. She basically photographs like an indistinguishable black fuzzball with two yellow eyes. There are no other discernible features. If her eyes are closed, a photo lab probably wouldn’t even develop that shot because clearly there was some sort of black fuzzy smear on the negative.

Plus, what if Blofeld did have a black cat? He’d still have to wear a white or light-colored suit as a backdrop just so we could see the cat. And then, he’d stand up and be covered in black fur from belly to lap, and that would totally wreck his street cred as an international badass. A supervillain busting out a lint roller just doesn’t seem evil enough — even if it’s an evil lint roller.