Ten. “Reality” TV shows are far too cheap and plentiful for my liking.

Nine. The production values are unapologetically terrible.

Eight. Although I think the point of watching professionally-produced entertainment is that it should be, at a minimum, of better quality than something a drunken monkey with a video camera in his phone could produce, “reality” TV seems to disagree.

Seven. The purpose of my ironic quotes around “reality” is because “reality” TV is just as cast and just as staged as any other TV program; just not as well.

Six. The lack of continuity between shots makes me want to beat the production assistants to various bloody pulps. That is, if they even have such essential personnel.

Five. The shows are not all that original, generally speaking. There are two formats: a contest where contestants get eliminated every week, and the one where they follow someone boring around in a semi-creepy way, getting all too personal. I hate them both.

Four. The characters are either truly dull or deeply obnoxious, neither of which I want to watch.

Three. As a genre, “reality” TV insults my intelligence, and that of anyone whose eyeballs happen to land on it.

Two. Related to that, it seems to make everyone who watches it for a while dumb enough not to be offended. I suspect it either has some sort of brain-liquefying properties that cause the tissue to begin dribbling out one’s ears, or it is some sort of conspiracy, and it is a step in the mind-control phase.

One. The whole concept behind “reality” TV as a genre is to save money by not paying writers. Hence the shows, the sensibilities of viewership, and my fellow writers suffer unnecessarily. Isn’t there enough suffering in the world without it?